Here is the next group of picks that will make you a God around the water cooler today. Guys, you can finally woo that total hottie that doesn’t think you know dick about her favorite sport.
You’ll thank me later. I promise!!

Dallas will beat the Dolphins in Miami, because ….well, the Dolphins suck!!

Minnesota visits the Lions in the most passive game of the week. These two teams will spend most of the contest hitting each other with their purses. The Lions will emerge victorious from this pillow fight, 2-0, even to the estonishment of their knuckleknob GM, who inadvertantly will look like a genious. How’s that for a mental picture??

Seattle travels to the desert to face Matt Leinart and the Cardinals. The Seahawks should win this game, however, I picked the Cardinals to finish ahead of the Seahawks in this division, so they will win here. So there!!

The Bears host the Kansas City Chiefs at Soldier field this Sunday. As most of you know, I think Rex Grossman is about 1 nanometer above Brady Quinn on the QB food chain, but not even the “Bad Rex” can screw this up. The Bears win this one in a walk!!

The New York J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets go to Baltimore to take on the Ravens. Without a quarterback to speak of, the Jets may have to go to the Bill Belichick’s method of “scouting”. Wink, wink, knod, knod!!! The McNair-less Ravens will beat the Pennington-less Jets 3-2 in 10 innings. You just watch.

The R-A-i-D-E … Sorry, I got caught up in the stupidity for a moment. The Raiders travel to Denver where they won’t be able to breath or play football and Vanderbilt’s Jay Cutler will finally beat LSU’s Jamarcus Russell on a football field even though Russell won’t come anywhere near taking a snap for the worst team in the NFL. How ironic is that??

In what is undoubtedly the game of the week, the Chargers take that dreaded cross-country, private, luxiary, hottie flight attendant laiden flight to Boston to play the video taping, Randy Moss passing, hoodie wearing, bunch of red coat fighting Patriots. The Pats will beat the Chargers 24-10 in the least attended game in New England Patriots history. Apparantly, the fine, liberal people of Massachusetts have a problem with dishonesty among their leaders. Ted Kennedy was reported to have said “I hate a liar”!!! …Okay, I made that part up, but the Patriots will win the football game.

There you have it. If you have any questions, don’t bother to ask. If I don’t get the weekly reading assignments posted tomorrow, just stay home, drink, and watch football all weekend. What’s better than that?? Blog at you later!!!